You know you want to know what the world’s funniest thing I’ve ever said about a woman is.
It’s not a question.
It doesn’t matter what she looks like, or how much money she makes, or what she does.
It all has to be a joke.
And I’ll tell you the funniest one.
The time I was in a bar, and I saw a young girl in a bikini, and a couple of the guys in the bar said, “I want to take a picture with her.”
And I said, What the fuck are you talking about?
And they said, You know, we’re gonna take a pic.
And the picture, of course, is not of her, it’s of the guy who’s standing right next to her.
It was a joke, and he didn’t like that.
But I’ll never forget it.
I was just so disgusted.
I mean, this girl is absolutely gorgeous, and she’s wearing some clothes that say, “Weird.”
And you’re looking at this girl in this bikini and thinking, How in the hell do you get away with this?
And the reason why she’s so stunning and beautiful is because she’s got a flat chest.
And, you know, that flat chest is the biggest thing that I ever saw in a woman.
And you can see why I’m disgusted with this girl.
And it’s not even a question, because it’s all so obvious.
This girl is so unattractive, that her flat chest, her legs, her ass, her butt, her pussy—she’s unattractive.
And if you’ve got a man who thinks you’re attractive, he doesn’t want to date you.
That’s the bottom line.
That is the bottomline.
And that’s what I said to her in the car when I was driving her home.
“She’s so unattractively beautiful, and you know why?
Because she’s a woman who’s been wearing a bikini.”
That was the biggest joke I ever said.
So, if you have a girl who’s beautiful and you have to say something like that, you should go to your own locker room, you can’t talk about this kind of thing.
And for the record, if she’s naked, you don’t even want to talk to her about it.
Because she can just say, What are you doing?
You’re doing nothing, and then you can go out there and have a good time.
But if you want a woman to wear a bikini and you want her to be beautiful, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to tell you what to wear, and that’s why I don’t go to the locker room.
I’m going to the shower, and we’re going to do a couple more pictures.
So if you really want to be offended, you’re going into a locker room with a bunch of other guys.
And then you’re just going to take the girl who is wearing a tank top and the other guy who is not wearing a shirt and ask him, What’s your problem?
What’s the problem?
And you see him and you think, Oh my God, I hate this girl, and this girl’s wearing a fucking tank top, and it’s gross.
And he goes, Oh, well, it looks like she’s hot.
But it’s just a tanktop.
I don’ think that’s the point.
So you’re not going into the locker rooms, you’ll see the other guys and you’ll laugh, and they’re going, Well, she’s pretty good looking.
But then the next time you see her, she looks even worse.
And all you do is get in your car and drive away.
And there you go, I’ve been doing that for three months.
And so you know what?
I’ve never heard that.
So when I get home, I’ll go into my locker room and go, Oh yeah, I can do that.
You know what I’m talking about.
You’ve seen a girl in the tank top with a big bra and a little cleavage, you’ve seen the big breasts, and what’s wrong with that?
But I have never seen a woman in a bra.
And when I see a woman with a huge, full chested body, I don ‘t even know what to do.
So I go to my locker, I put on my pants, I take my clothes off, and now I’m really hot, and there’s nothing wrong with me.
And she’s going to think, What?
I want to put my clothes back on?
But if I wear a bra, I think it’s disgusting.
So that’s my problem.
And a lot of times, if I go into a dressing room and the guy next to me, who I think is a great guy, and who I’m sure would do well in a relationship, thinks I’m hot, I go in